All My Hopes and Plans

I promise I'm not constantly evaluating my life, and melodramatically exclaiming that I'm at a crossroads of life and I have no idea what I'm doing.

I actually kinda do know what I'm doing, I'm just quite terrified.
Here's the plan:
Find apartment in Frankfurt
Make friends with flatmates
Communicate auf Deutsch
Start job
Have a great time, become fluent in German, travel, survive the year without becoming completely broke, and possibly also save the world.




I have a lot of hopes and plans for this year. I also feel like the past 2 years didn't exactly fit into my plan for what I wanted them to be. I really wanted to be intentional and great and do everything right and that plan did NOT work. AT ALL.
I still trust that everything has worked out and I am where I am and that is good, but... it's good to move forward and have direction.

But then I start thinking how can I be everyone's friend and keep in touch and say the right things and work hard and eat well and be a "good" Christian, but be relaxed, don't be too clingy, don't be a perfectionist... without collapsing into a German heap {zu Boden sacken}?

The answer is probably that I cannot, or at least, I can't do it alone.

As long as I ask, God will be around to help me do things. I'm  not sure how that works, but I'm hoping that with a bit of preparation beforehand, and effort during, God will fill in the blanks of my inadequacies and failures.

So, I'm fairly sure most people don't really ever know where they're going, but at least I know that with God I'm going to places that are good for me. Furthermore, I think people, but mostly me, need to appreciate little things more, worry less and always always love more.
Sometimes I literally force myself to laugh because that's what has to be done. Successful people, I imagine, take their work seriously, but do not take life seriously.

I don't have anything sorted AT ALL, EVER... But I do have a plan, and I do have faith that things will work out, and that God knows just how to use me in the best way. I prayed, I left it to God... thus finding an apartment is MY job, but finding the RIGHT ONE is His.
So I'm going to calm down and find something to laugh at.  

PS, it's been really great to discuss with people about stuff I've talked about here- thanks for taking an interest, I love a good DMC.